Sunday, March 17, 2013

The beauty in average

I think I've come to the conclusion that in many ways, I am not a remarkable human being.
I will never be a pro athlete.
I will never be a pop star and go on tour to meet Katy Perry, Carly Rae Jepsen and all the other pop stars I love.
I will continue to make horrible life choices when it comes to love and have my heart broken, beaten and left for dead on the side of the road.

However, I have discovered something about myself. I fear being average. I fear the thought that I am an unremarkable human being. I fear the idea that my life is un-extraordinary and will not amount to the amazing journey I know it can be. I fear being forgotten and being bland and plain.
However, I've also come to accept where I am in my life.
While I will never be a pro athlete, I am athletic for the first time in my life, and doing things that I never thought I could do. I'm becoming a silks aerialist and that in itself is pretty awesome.

I may never be a pop star, but I have worked on my singing voice to the point where I feel it will benefit my career. I can sing better than I ever have before. My voice is stronger and it's unique tone will more than likely land me a job or two one day. In the meantime, I'm more than happy to sing whenever I can (including at home at all hours)

Finally, when it comes to love, I'm sure that one day I wont need it. I wont need to have my worth and value connected to how other people, be they lovers or losers, and how they feel about me. And at that time, I'm more than confident that if someone was to come along, I would happily be willing to spend time and effort on them.

There is a beauty in knowing where you are in the moment. There's a beauty in being ok with where you are in life. There's something special about knowing that you don't have to be everything to everyone, and that's ok, because you're something to someone.